tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3031616750644178863.post6631039659890865866..comments2024-03-29T12:02:27.098+00:00Comments on Suddenly Mummy: The Contact ConundrumRebecca Brookshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323122949121536943noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3031616750644178863.post-64352871426332666372013-03-18T15:55:32.298+00:002013-03-18T15:55:32.298+00:00Hi Genie - oh it's so difficult isn't it?!...Hi Genie - oh it's so difficult isn't it?! I was adamant from the beginning that there would be no photographs as OB's family live quite close to me and I wanted to preserve his anonymity as much as I could. Thankfully all the social workers agreed with me, but this doesn't necessarily mean that his birth family will have realistic expectations.Rebecca Brookshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03323122949121536943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3031616750644178863.post-16219105313136981552013-03-18T11:14:56.754+00:002013-03-18T11:14:56.754+00:00It's great to hear some honest discussion on c...It's great to hear some honest discussion on contact, we struggled through our first letterbox contact and the response we received was that birth mum was 'heartbroken' because we hadn't sent photos ( this was agreed in the letterbox contract that we wouldn't send any due to previous issues) it was a very upsetting time and in no way beneficial to the children, but we will continue to engage in it because as you have said despite our feelings we are told that it's in the best interests of the children. Good luck with your first letter!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15405179418331454488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3031616750644178863.post-37360245738418317452013-03-15T22:41:00.819+00:002013-03-15T22:41:00.819+00:00I've mostly just got on with sending letters b...I've mostly just got on with sending letters but over the years, I've found it harder to motivate myself. The children are always disappointed there is no reply and in a recent conversation with their LA they were not able to inform me if the letter has even been collected. So I do understand however, the reason that always gets me to sit and do it is I want the boys to know that we kept to our side of the bargain. <br /><br />Thanks for linking up with The Weekly Adoption Shout Out. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3031616750644178863.post-64952148000849680742013-03-15T21:47:44.355+00:002013-03-15T21:47:44.355+00:00ah I havent even written about letter writing - it...ah I havent even written about letter writing - it will be weird for me too when the time comes - and yes mixed feelings - but it might help with either piecing some of those pieces in the jigsaw or even bringing closure if it doesnt work out well and at least it wont be another let down on our part for our children.NewPyjamaMummyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05830317824056874805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3031616750644178863.post-23891578918809188742013-03-15T21:20:22.104+00:002013-03-15T21:20:22.104+00:00Thanks Collette :) I love your encouragement, as ...Thanks Collette :) I love your encouragement, as always xx I'll get back to you in September for sure!Rebecca Brookshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03323122949121536943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3031616750644178863.post-8234335575991794342013-03-15T21:18:56.173+00:002013-03-15T21:18:56.173+00:00I think it's key what you say - that Mini deci...I think it's key what you say - that Mini decided for himself that he didn't want his birth family knowing about him. We absolutely need to listen to our children over things like this. Was he sorry that previous letters had been written? Or did he not mind about that? My instinct is that I'd rather have an opt-in than an opt-out - do nothing, but make sure that OB knows it's available in the future if he wants it. After all, it's easy to write a letter that fills in a few years at once, but impossible to unwrite what you've already written. Rebecca Brookshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03323122949121536943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3031616750644178863.post-51507686533241976612013-03-15T20:35:59.748+00:002013-03-15T20:35:59.748+00:00Hiya Becky, I don't often feel moved to commen...Hiya Becky, I don't often feel moved to comment on blogs - but this one 'got me' somehow. Here is my suggestion based on zero knowledge and experience!!! What I would do is try to treat it as one of those family-update Christmas card type things. Very top-line summary. If I were you I would ask (me!) a coupld of close friends to do the same for one of their children to give you ideas about what to possibly include and just get a few peeople to pray with you before, during and proof-read afterwards. It's just another 'first' Beck and you will be fantastic xchoccyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07717942520598274744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3031616750644178863.post-35708888473265696292013-03-15T17:13:21.407+00:002013-03-15T17:13:21.407+00:00Writing letterbox really never bothered me *too* m...Writing letterbox really never bothered me *too* much, I came to resent it more over time, and became disappointed at the lack of replies, but the main reason for stopping was Mini's request. He decided he didn't want his birth family knowing about him.<br /><br />I do think it's important that we try to keep a line of communication open between our children and their birth parents, and I wouldn't ever want to stand in the way of that...but when the child is old enough to verbalise his/her feelings, then it's more important to support those feelings. I hope we'll be able to re-establish letterbox when Mini is older.<br /><br />Thanks for linking this up to the Weekly Adoption Shout Out xthe boy's behaviourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04428903584989957736noreply@blogger.com