Friday, October 9, 2015

Car Crash

I was nearly involved in a car crash the other day. Constant reorganisation of our town centre has left quite a few tricky junctions around the place and it was at one of these where another driver pulled out directly in front of my car. Realising her mistake, she slammed on the brakes and stopped right in the middle of the junction. If I had not been able to stop in time, I would have gone straight into her driver's side door. Straight into where she was sitting.

Thankfully I could stop and the incident ended with nothing more than a bit of apologetic hand waving. But I couldn't help thinking how unhelpful our instincts can be at times of stress. The other driver's split second decision in that moment of crisis was probably the opposite of what it should have been. If she had put her foot down and completed her turn, she would probably have been well out of my way. As it was, screeching to a halt right in front of me placed her right in harm's way. I'm not criticising her. I would probably have done the same. Sometimes our instincts betray us!

It is easy, and probably a bit cheesy, to draw comparisons between our near miss and our lives here as parent and children. But I'm going to do it anyway.

My children are young, and in their heads and their emotions, they're probably even younger. In times of stress - which is a lot of the time! - their instincts often drive them towards making decisions and displaying behaviours that are likely to get them into more hot water rather than less. As their parent, albeit temporarily in some cases, I have to train myself to remember this; to recognise stress-causing situations and minimise them so that opportunities to fail aren't so frequent; to show them what self-control feels and looks like; to lead the way through some alternative routes.

It's a long haul, and I'm not sure how far we'll get. I know full well that when skidding on ice, one should avoid the brakes and instead turn the wheels in the direction of the skid. I know that. And yet when it happens, I can barely keep my foot way from the brake! I hope I can be more forgiving of my children when they succumb to their instincts than the icy road is.

5 comments:

  1. The idea of minimising opportunities to fail is an excellent one. The Children's Home were Ella and I lived were good at that - at least they were when Abdul was in charge. It changed for the worse later on.
    http://livingworldsedge.blogspot.co.uk/2015/10/why-ella-and-i-never-say-goodbye.html

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  2. I have pondered this very dilemma as school set one boy completely up for a failure today. So easily avoidable but no risk assessment done. The problem is we second, third and forth guess everything but others don't have the knowledge, time, patience. Rant over. Thank goodness the accident was avoided, if only through your own careful driving.Thanks for sharing on #WASO xx

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  3. I have pondered this very dilemma as school set one boy completely up for a failure today. So easily avoidable but no risk assessment done. The problem is we second, third and forth guess everything but others don't have the knowledge, time, patience. Rant over. Thank goodness the accident was avoided, if only through your own careful driving.Thanks for sharing on #WASO xx

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  4. When I was involved in a car accident, the best thing I ever did was call for a lawyer to help me that afternoon. he instructed i go to the hospital even though I felt fine. The hospital discovered I fractured tow bones in my neck, and i would need surgery to fix. Get a lawyer fast, you never really know.

    Faith Brady @ KHunterLaw

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  5. The last thing that you need to do when working with your lawyer is to question them about how they are proceeding with the case. Everything they do has a reason, even delaying court dates and meetings. Looking back my impatience was definitely something that cost us because I kept pushing for my case to finally be over.

    Raymond @ Nova Legal Group

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