Here We Go Again

Baby Girl is officially waiting for a new family. We're on that roller coaster again. Already we have had the pre-adoption planning meeting (two of them actually - but that's a long and infuriating story!), the pre-adoption medical, filling in of forms etc. etc.

As a person who has the unbridled pleasure of caring for Baby Girl day in and day out I know with complete certainty that she will make somebody's dreams come true. I can't sing her praises enough. Beautiful, good-natured, smiley, infectious laugh, squidgy toes, loves tickles and kisses, patient, easy-going, good sleeper - it just goes on and on.

But I also know that, as far as her family finder goes anyway, she is, almost unbelievably, veering towards being 'hard to place'. So hard to place, in fact, that professional photos and DVDs have been ordered, and a referral to an adoption activity day has already been made. I know as well that a couple of expressions of interest have already been made, but dropped very quickly.

It reminds me that there is a huge, unimaginable gulf between what how the paperwork might present a child, and how that child presents in reality as a living, breathing person. I feel sure that any prospective adopter looking for a child in Baby Girl's age range would find it impossible to resist even one gorgeous smile. But the paperwork must tell a more sobering story. It is incredibly sad. And unfair.

It reminds me as well that we foster carers can be in danger of presenting a skewed view of the children we care for. Because we love them. Because we find it hard to reconcile the paperwork with the person. Perhaps because we will not have to face a future that will become a reality for an adopter.

I know what Baby Girl's paperwork says. I know that many of our fears have already been proven to be unfounded. But I know that, unless something changes or predictions are confounded, her adopter will likely face challenges ahead.

But, and most importantly, I know that there are prospective adopters out there who are more than equal to those challenges. I have confidence to hope for a bright future for Baby Girl and for the family that is blessed enough to welcome her. And I love a good roller coaster!


  1. It breaks my heart to think that Baby Girl, that I've loved reading about, would be passed over. I know it's so that she will eventually be with her own special family, but it is so sad. I hope it wont be a long wait for her and you.

    Thanks for Sharing on #WASO

  2. I can only echo what Sarah said. It is heartbreaking. I so hope your Baby Girl will find a family sooner, not later; a family who will cherish her from head to toe, be comfortable with whatever potential issues the future may bring her, and embrace every day with her in their arms and hearts xx

  3. If we would have made our decision to adopt Jonathan based on the reports/paperwork (some of which we didn't get until after he moved in with us) it would have scared the heck out of me and I would have too questioned my ability to parent him. It's so sad that the paper and actual little human being, although difficult, tell such different stories. I wish all the best to Baby Girl and that she finds her perfect family:)


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